Monthly Archives: May 2017

Shakespeare-kill-all-lawyers

Let’s Kill All the Lawyers!

‘Let’s kill all the lawyers’ was a line spoken by Dick the butcher (how appropriate!) in Shakespeare’s play, Henry the Sixth, part 2, act 4, scene 2.  Dick’s Utopian idea to kill all of England’s lawyers is his addition to the promises of the traitorous Jack Cade, who envisions a quasi-communistic social revolution with himself installed as autocrat.  Why would Cade want this revolution?  Cade alleges that all lawyers do is shuffle parchments back and forth in a systematic attempt to ruin the common people.  His demagoguery is simply a calculated appeal to simple folks’ longing to be left alone.  Holy bat crap, Robin, does any of this sound familiar?

I have three close, personal friends who are all lawyers.  Each one is a very great guy and fun to be with.  But you know what my real problem is with lawyers?  Well….here it is….there are just too damn many of them!

This is just not a personal opinion, but an opinion that can be verified with statistics.  Do you know how many people graduate from law school in the United States each year?  Well, that number would be approximately 50,000.  Do you know how many lawyers the United States needs each year?  Well, that number would be about 25,000.  Doing simple division from Mrs. Meyers’ third grade class tells me that 50% of graduating lawyers do not end up in the legal profession.  What other college degree would do this?  Doctors?  Teachers? Nurses? Accountants? Engineers? Without doing the research, I am confident that the vast majority of people with those degrees will find employment in their chosen profession.  Over 70% of all lawyers in the world are in the US even though we account for only %5 of the world population!  That equates to one lawyer for every 300 people in America!

As parents of future college students, you may want to evaluate the profession that your future college bound student is pursuing.  This is especially true if they are thinking of a legal profession. There is more bad news!  These are the words of the managing director of Daimler Benz: “In the US, young lawyers already don’t get jobs.  Because of IBM Watson, you can get legal advice (so far for more or less basic stuff) within seconds, with 90% accuracy compared with 70% accuracy when done by humans.  So if you study law, stop immediately.  There will be 90% less lawyers in the future, only specialists will remain.”  He goes on to say many other predictions for the future, but you get the gist of his message.

Here is my second problem with lawyers.  What do they actually do?  Well, some time ago I attended a sales convention that was geared toward construction general contractors.  I forgot who the guest speaker was, but we had many good ones.  Fran Tarkington, Joe Theismann, and Brian Billick (All football players and coaches.) were all speakers.  I digress.  The speaker at this particular convention pointed out that general contractors ‘created wealth.’  By constructing buildings, this allowed companies to expand, thereby causing them to purchase more equipment and material and requiring them to hire more employees.  This stimulates the economy!  Hip-hip-hooray!  What do most lawyers do?  Well, they bring lawsuits and handle divorce proceedings.  Yes, I know this is a simplification, but indulge me by following my reasoning.  Our guest speaker at this convention went on to say that, “attorneys do not create wealth, attorneys redistribute wealth.”  If you have ever been a party in either a lawsuit or a divorce, you will recognize the brilliance of this statement.  They take money from one party, and give it to another.  All of this after a healthy legal fee has been collected.

There is a third reason why I don’t like lawyers.  I think some lawyers are destroying our country…piece by piece.  

Do you think the cost of health care is too high?  Why is that?  Well, one reason is because we have become a litigious society because of all those lawyers.  Some medical specialties can have medical malpractice insurance costs exceeding $200,000 per year per doctor depending on their medical specialty and location.   Some states have placed caps on the size of a medical malpractice claim. George ‘Dubya’ Bush tried to establish medical malpractice limits throughout the US during his first term.  It was defeated by a congress that was full of……. quess what?  Lawyers!  But the lawyers are not done.  How many times have you seen that TV ad that says; “If you have used drug XYZ anytime in the last 250 years and suffer from or experience any of the following 539 symptoms, you may be entitled to a settlement!”  Call the following number: 1-800-WESUE4U.  Who do you think answers that phone number?  The FDA?  Disease Control?  Your local doctor?  NO.  You are calling a law firm and they are bringing suit against a drug company.  The drug companies protect themselves with very expensive product liability insurance which again increases the cost of drugs and health care.

Remember, only 50% of all law school graduates find employment in the legal profession.  Where do the unlucky 50% go?  I know some that are excellent real estate brokers and insurance agents and I am sure that they end up in other interesting fields.  But unfortunately, many of these lawyers end up pursuing a political career, and that is where they can do the most damage.  Do you know where you can find a whole slew of lawyers?  Washington, D.C!  One out of every twelve residents in Washington is a lawyer!  Holy double bat crap, Robin!  Washington accounts for only 1/5 of one percent of the US population, but has one of every 25 lawyers in America!  Luckily for us, there is a decreasing trend in the number of lawyers in congress.  Today that number is slightly less than 40%, compared to 80% in the late 1800’s.

But do you really want to know where you can find the most lawyers, those people that are masters at redistributing wealth?  In the Democratic Party, which in one article is referred to as the ‘Lawyer’s Party.’  Need proof?  Barack and Michelle Obama are both lawyers.  Bill and Hillary Clinton are both lawyers.  John and Elizabeth Edwards are both lawyers.  Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school, although Al Gore did not graduate.  Every vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school.  Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are both lawyers.  The Republican Party is significantly different.  Both Bush presidents and vice president Cheney were businessmen.  Newt Gingich was a history professor.  Tom Delay was an exterminator.  Dick Armey was an economist.   Paul Ryan has degrees in economics and political science.  Former House Minority Leader John  Boehner was a plastic manufacturer.  Former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon.  And of course, our current POTUS is a businessman.  Do you remember the last Republican president that was a lawyer?  Gerald Ford, over 40 years ago.  Oh, the Republicans have let a couple of lawyers sneak into the party, most notably Vice President Mike Pence and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.

Why do I think lawyers are destroying America piece by piece?  In the words by author Bruce Walker: “Lawyers seek to have new laws passed, they seek to win lawsuits, they press appellate courts to overturn precedent and lawyers always parse language to favor their side.  But it is an awful way to govern a great nation.  When politicians as lawyers begin to view some Americans as clients and other Americans as opposing parties, then the role of the legal system in our life becomes all-consuming.  Some Americans become adverse parties of our very government.  We are not all litigants in some vast social class-action suit.  We are citizens of a republic that promises us a great deal of freedom from laws, from courts , and from lawyers.  Today, we are drowning in laws; we are contorted by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by omnipresent lawyers in all parts of our once private lives.  America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked.”

He summarizes by saying: ‘Perhaps Americans will understand that change cannot be brought to our nation by those lawyers who already largely dictate American society and business.  Perhaps Americans will see that hope does not come from the mouths of lawyers but from personal dreams nourished by hard work.  Perhaps Americans will embrace the truth that more lawyers with more power will only make our problems worse.”

I could not have said it better, so I did not try.

Some of my liberal readers may take exception with my statement calling the Democratic Party the ‘Lawyers Party.’  It should be easier for you to understand when you know that 97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association go to the Democrat Party.  Then you realize who is responsible for our medical and product costs being so high.

So in the broadest sense of the word, “I really hate most lawyers!’  (Except Duane, Don and Jim.)

Now

It’s a Shake and Bake Society, Baby!

During my lifetime, I have experienced, and seen, technological revolutions that can only be described as miraculous.  These technological advancements have made life easier and faster.

Let me provide a few examples of some great technological advancements, both big and small.

Do you know when the first TV dinner was created?  Do you remember who created it and what that dinner contained?  The first TV dinner was created in 1953 by the Swanson Company, thus the Swanson TV dinner which is still available today.  That first dinner was designed for a Thanksgiving meal.  It contained turkey, cornbread dressing, frozen peas and sweet potatoes.  It was packaged in the aluminum tray that was used by airline companies to serve food on their airplanes.   The cooking directions called for 25 minutes in the oven at 425 degrees.  That first meal cost 98 cents, and they sold a whopping 5000 dinners that first year!

What an advancement!  Up until that time, in our house, either Mom or Grandma had to make everything from scratch.  Because we lived on a Midwestern farm, we had animals and a huge garden.  Our Thanksgiving turkey took 7-8 hours to cook.  Oftentimes the bird was stuffed the night before Thanksgiving, placed in the refrigerator, and then someone had to get out of bed by 5:00 AM to place it in the oven in time for dinner.  All rolls and bread were baked from scratch as were the pies. Grandma’s pies were to die for!  All the crusts were made from scratch as was the filling.  No pumpkin pie filling, cherry filling or blueberry filling came from a can.  The pumpkin pie filling came from pumpkins grown in our garden.  The cherries were purchased and pitted.  The blueberries were picked in the summer and frozen until used.  I know all about blueberry picking as my grandmother made me go with her.  For the uninitiated, blueberries grow in low-lying areas and ripen about the same time as the bumper mosquito crop matures.  We had to wear nets over our heads and wear long sleeve shirts even in the summer, so as not to get bitten hundreds of times.  Unfortunately, because of the small size of the blueberries, we could not wear gloves.  Our hands became the ultimate mosquito target and we would spend almost 2 hours picking and swatting, picking and swatting to get enough berries for 3-4 pies.  It was not uncommon for a Thanksgiving feast to take three days of preparation.  Whew! What a difference from 25 minutes at 425 degrees!  (Honestly, our meals were bigger and much better.)

But the food industry was not done.  In 1969, the first TV breakfast meal was made available.  That was followed in 1973 by the Hungry Man Meal.  Do you remember who the first spokesman was for the Hungry Man Meal?  It was Pittsburgh Steeler footballer, Mean Joe Green.

But wait….there’s more!  In 1986, the first microwavable TV dinner was made available because 25% of the American homes had microwave ovens.  Microwave ovens were the next great technological leap for food preparation.  My parents bought me a microwave oven as a Christmas gift in the early 1980s.  It cost almost $500, and it took two men and a boy to lift it from the trunk of a car to my counter top.  After its usefulness as a microwave, it could have been easily converted to a boat anchor!   A BIG boat anchor!

Do you know how many years it was between the first airplane flight and landing the first person on the moon?  The first flight by the Wright brothers was in 1903.  The moon landing?  1969.  Sixty six years between airplane invention and an almost unbelievable space travel accomplishment!

During my lifetime, communication in our house went from having no phone to having a party line phone.  Yes, you could actually pick up the phone and hear your neighbors conversation.  And yes, they could hear your conversations.  Next came the invention of mobile phones.  Those first mobile phones were the size of a brick and weighed about the same as a brick.  Then we went to light-weight small pocket sized phones and now you can have a phone on your wrist!  A wrist phone just like the one Dick Tracy used in the 1930s comic books!  (Okay.  Dick Tracy had a wrist radio.)

When I was in high school and college, we were never allowed to use calculators.  That is because the first pocket calculators cost $250, and not everyone could afford them.  Remember….the minimum wage was $1.00 an hour!  While in high school, we could use slide rules.  Right now, no one under the age of 50 has the slightest idea of what I am talking about.  A slide rule was one step up from an ancient abacus, but multiplication and division could be done on a slide rule.  To show the real advancement of technology, my first pocket calculator cost $250.  When it finally broke, the exact replacement cost $59.99.  When that pocket calculator broke, the exact replacement cost $19.95.

The first computer that I bought in 1991 was a butt-kicking 40 megabytes!  I say it was a butt-kicking computer because all my competitors had 25 megabyte computers.  I was king of the hill.  That computer, monitor and daisy-wheel printer cost me $2200.  I now write this blog on an 8 gigabyte computer that cost me $600 six years ago.  The monitor and printer were extra.  My printer not only prints, but it is capable of scanning, copying, and faxing….if I knew how to set it all up.  The printer cost me less than $150.  In the late 1980s, my old boss bought a fax machine for $2500.  He was bragging about what a great deal he got because he got a free case of fax paper with the machine. Do they even sell fax only machines today?

These are just some of the marvelous technological improvements I have observed during my lifetime.  Just think of all the improvements in the medical field.  Look at the new devices that are a standard feature on an automobile that were unheard of during the 1950s.  GPS?  Back-up cameras?  Alarms?  Many of the new advancements have been for safety, but many of our advancements are popular because they either save time, eliminate work, or provide instantaneous information or instantaneous gratification.  (Who researches using encyclopedias when google and Wikipedia are available.)

But the one thing I have noticed over my lifetime is that people and society have become less patient and tolerant.  People today want instantaneous results.  They want things to happen fast.  They want things to happen faster than getting their food in a short line at a ‘fast food’ restaurant. (What a great belt-busting invention fast food has become!)  I am convinced that some people believe that Rome was built in a day.  The mantra seems to have become, ‘I want it and I want it now.’

Unfortunately, the attitude and mantra of ‘wanting it and wanting it now’ has permeated our expectations as to how our federal government should operate.  I am glad that the ‘First 100 days of the Trump presidency’ have finally passed.  How many times did you hear this:  “Donald Trump’s presidency will be considered a failure if he doesn’t (fill in the blank) within his first 100 days.”   Here were the most popular ‘fill in the blank’ items:  1.  Replace the Affordable Care Act,  2, Have a budget,  3.  Build the wall, and, 4. Provide a tax reform system.  I heard each one of these items, attached to a 100 day timeline, being touted as signifying a failed presidency if not accomplished.  Of course, these notions were mostly advanced by liberal politicians on liberal-leaning media sources. There were more ‘fill in the blank’ items, but these were the biggies.

So here is my advice…..”GET A GRIP AMERICA!”  Rome was not built in a day.  Do you really believe that these major issues, some of them decades old, could be reasonably alleviated in 100 days?  I am glad that the repeal of the Affordable Care Act was defeated early in the Trump presidency. Why?  Because, unlike the original ACA passage that was shoved down the throats of all Americans by the Democratic party without Republican input, this repeal will have the input of both parties.  I would much rather have a ‘good’ bill than a ‘fast’ bill.  But if you want to believe the media hogwash, we wanted a fast bill.

It amazes me that any Democrat would have the cajoles to fault this administration for not having a budget (it was passed recently) when Harry Reid, the Senate Majority leader for 6 years, promised to not have a budget reach the Senate floor as long as he was Senate Majority leader.  The ‘gatekeeper from hell’ kept his word.  Our government ran for 6 years without passing a budget.  (The next time you see a street corner hot dog stand, remember, he probably has a budget!  Our federal government did not.)

I am sure that with a little time, there will be tax reform for both corporations and individuals.  No one seems as concerned about building the big, beautiful wall now that illegal aliens attempting to enter this country has been reduced by over 70%.

But here is where the rubber meets the road; our society seems to have a disconnect between reality and expectation.  Because of our faster than lightning technological advancements and our fast paced society, we begin to believe that all things should be fast.  That may be true in some instances, but certainly not all.  When it comes to governing, I would much prefer ‘slower and better’ than ‘faster and crappy.’

After all, it took my grandmother over 3 hours to make one of her delicious pies from scratch.  She enjoyed making them and we really enjoyed eating them.  Sara Lee would have been easier, but my grandmother would not let us have any of that.  You were the perfect example of ‘slower and better.’   I love you grandma!  You always took care of us.

Happy Mother’s Day.