Newest Reality TV Show, Survivor…Washington, D.C.

When did the election year politics turn into a bad reality show?  Do we blame the Amazing Race? Do we blame the Bachelor?  How about the Kardashian’s or any of those Housewives of Wherever shows?

Trust me when I say that this is the most devisive and unprofessional year I have ever seen for people that are contending to be President of the United States.  What happened to dignity?  What happened to respect?  What happened to important issues?

The only winners in this media circus is the ………well, the media.  One pundit said that this year’s electoral campaigns are good for CBS, but bad for America.  No fooling!  As of this writing, there have been eleven Republican presidential debates.  I am being overly gracious when I actually describe these events as debates.  Same issues.  Same mud-slinging.  Same name calling. Different time slots, moderators and channels.  Why so many?  Frankly, I have watched about half of them and the debates I missed were pretty much reruns of the debates I watched.  Ugly!

After hours of contemplation, I have decided to contact Mark Burnett and propose a new show for the Republican debates….. Survivor….Washington, D.C!

Can you picture it?  Cue the music!

Blast the irritating horns!  Show some tribal symbols in the promo!  Show the panoramic view of the island that the competition will take place!  Yes, we can’t have this competition in the actual Washington, D.C  The crime rate there is high and  that would be too dangerous!  We will select a deserted island somewhere close to the continent of Africa; close to where the last Survivor winner was born.  With any luck, this island will be  full of cannibals.  Could we be so lucky?

Now the introduction of the contestants.  Firstly, the Gabber from Gotham, Donald J. Trump!  His opponent, from the state of Florida, Marco (I am the son of Ronald Reagan) Rubio!  Their opponent, representing the state of Texas, Ted, I can be trusted because I know what a Bible looks like, Cruz! And our last contestant, representing the state of Ohio and responsible for anything good that has ever happened in that state, John Kasich!

Jeff Probst was unable to be the moderator at this contest as he was previously committed to moderating the Democratic Survivor contest titled, Survivor…Leningrad.  In his place will be the intelligent, charming and witty, Megyn Kelly.  Ms. Kelly of Fox News fame has demonstrated impartiality when it comes to who survives and who wilts like a pansy without water.  And, she is just gosh darn good looking and as long as this is my idea, she will be the moderator!

Our first reward challenge will be the name-calling challenge.  First out of the gate and with a large lead is Rubio.  He is being closely followed by Ted Cruz.  Both attempt to trip up Trump.  Trump makes a half-hearted, half-assed rebuttal to the two leaders.  Con Man.  Charlatan.  Faker.  Failure.  Liar.  The competition is furious and vicious.  Kasich?  Well, this was obviously not his best challenge.  The name calling becomes more intense. The three leaders are miles ahead of Kasich. Eventually, Megyn calls a time out as it has been determined that more negative adjectives were used during this contest than in the last twenty presidential elections combined.  The winner?  Marco Rubio…by quite a distance over his opponents. As he approaches Megyn Kelly to receive his reward, she informs him that while he and Trump and Cruz were flinging the adjectives, Kasich had eaten the reward.

The next reward challenge will be the body part challenge.  Again, Rubio jumps off to a fast start by bringing up the size of Trump’s hands and feet.  He presses on that because these are small, it may be concluded that his man parts may not be adequate or manly.  Cruz is befuddled.  He is more concerned about the size of his Bible.  Trump counters by calling Rubio…little Marco Rubio.  He again, in a half-hearted and half-assed rebuttal counters that his man parts are adequate and manly and that his hands are strong, as verified by his golf instructor.  Kasich again is trailing in this challenge as he continues to ramble about such things as the national debt, ISIS, creating jobs and all those other unimportant things that no one cares about during this challenge.  It was suggested that maybe the boys should just expose their man-parts, and winner takes all!  Megyn Kelly knows a good story when she sees one, so she orders additional cameramen to film this historic event.  The co-winners of the body part challenge are Rubio and Trump.  Cruz and Kasich were outdistanced in this event.  The idea of exposing their man-parts is dropped as Vladimir Putin wanted to enter this part of the competition, which was determined to be against the spirit of this competition. (It would have been to easy to suggest Hillary would have won this competition, but that would be tacky.) Rubio and Trump are contented to each get half of a crap sandwich (I can’t say shit sandwich, as my grandkids could read this) as their reward.

The next and final reward challenge is the back stabbing challenge.  Megyn allows each contestant to select their weapon.  Cruz selects an old-fashioned Bowie knife in honor of the Battle of the Alamo, which of course took place in the great state of Texas.  Rubio selects a switchblade stiletto knife, as it is the knife of choice in Miami.  Trump selects a Scottish dirk as it honors his Scottish heritage.  Kasich selects a 2″ pen knife in honor of the pen knife he uses to open his mail.  The contestants take their places.  Megyn raises her hand and says, “are the contestants ready?”  All contestants nod their preparedness.  “Ready…….stop!”  Stop?  “What do you mean stop?”  Megyn replies, “we now have a new addition to this competion.  Now entering the back stabbing challenge, representing the great state of Utah, Mitt, (the Mormon Mauler), Romney!”  Romney, the loser in the last Survivor contest, makes his presence known.  The Mormon Mauler selects his weapon, a double edged machete, as he intends to cut a wide swath through his challengers, one in particular.  The final reward challenge is over before it really began.  Mitt Romney back stabs Trump repeatedly, much to the amusement of the other candidates.  No contest…Romney wins the back stabbing competition.  And….like all good things, my Survivor….Washington, D.C. fantasy must end.

What exactly is happening to the Republican party in general and why did Romney do what he did specifically.

If you have been observant, you will notice for every political pundit advancing one theory, there is another pundit advancing the opposite opinion.  Can Trump beat Hillary?  Yes responses followed by no  responses.  Can any of the other candidates beat Hillary?  Again, some yes polls followed by no polls.  Will Romney’s scathing and vicious attacks on Trump help or hurt the Republican party?   Again, opposite responses.

I have a theory about Romney.  If you remember, last summer he hosted Jeb Bush in Utah.  After their weekend together, Romney announced he would not seek the Republican nomination.  Jeb was the fair-haired boy.  He had name recognition and a vastly successful money machine for campaign funds.  Then. lo and behold, Jeb gets a lukewarm public response for his presidential bid.   My opinion?  Jeb has not been governor of Florida since 2006, campaigned as if he still was governor, and lost contact with the anger and concerns of most Republican voters.  Mitt must now feel like he opted out too quickly.

His attack on Trump is nothing like I have ever seen in my life.  Vicious, deliberate, unethical. Regardless of who Romney attacked, he has made me regret voting for him in the 2012 election.  All of this after he received financial and personal aid from Trump in 2012,    I have heard the 2012 Trump endorsement of Romney and I have heard Romney’s appreciative comments and over the top descriptions of the virtues of Donald Trump.  In the words of comedian Dennis Miller, “It’s too bad Romney didn’t go after Obama like he has after Donald Trump.”  I find Mitt Romney’s action despicable by any measure.  If his attempt is to become the Republican nominee, he can forget it.

The Republican party?  My theory is that much like Jeb Bush, the Republican party has lost contact with the majority of the people that call themselves Republican.  The ‘king makers’ may have lost track of the desires of the pawns.

I do not want to see a third party candidate.  That’s how we got Bill Clinton.  With a third party candidate, we would have Hillary Clinton and that would mean Survivor….Leningrad would become a reality.

Wake up Republican party!  Your debates have become bad reality TV.  Stop these candidates from ripping on each other and get into the business of ripping up the Democratic side of the house.  The last eight years should provide adequate ammunition for ripping the present administration…so start using it!  Get off your butts and come up with a party plank that the American public can understand. Much good and bad can be said about Donald Trump, but I and everyone who has watched this circus, knows where he stands on issues.  Where does the Republican party stand on issues?

Has Washington, D.C. become such a cesspool of graft, corruption, influence peddling, waste, fraud and abuse that an outsider like Trump, an outsider that can’t be bought, scare the hell out of them? The recent actions of Romney, coming out of the woodwork the way he did, makes me wonder.

The upcoming election could be Survivor…..USA! 

One thought on “Newest Reality TV Show, Survivor…Washington, D.C.

  1. Beau Fournet

    Tom, another big winner. This election season has truly been a circus. Freaks, Carney characters, and shameful ethical miscreants. I refused to vote in the Louisiana Presidential Primary because my vote would not count and only serve to validate the election. John Kasich is the closest to a candidate but does not appear to be electable. I remember years ago when I was a kid and my Uncle Nolen said that “there are too many Bolsheviks in America. What we need is a very good benevolent dictator not some snake oil salesman and certainly not a dam lawyer.” Once again Tom, I love your thinking. There are no Ronald Reagans around today. Beau

    Reply

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